One Extrovert and One Introvert: How to Set Energy Boundaries for the Holiday

When you’re trying to plan for the holidays, the energies between you and your partner might not be the first thing on your mind. However, they probably should be. The holidays are already full of stress and so many to-dos, and even in our current society, you still want to try and enjoy as much of the holidays as you can. When you’re polar opposites, how do you do it?

Here are some tips to help you have a good holiday season, no matter what kind of energy you’re trying to balance.

●      Communicate: You already know that you’re two different people with two different types of energy. Communicate about your expectations, what you can and can’t handle, and how you’d like things to go. Compromise where you can or if you need to, but be sure to have a conversation.

●      Plan Ahead: Don’t wait until you’re walking out the door to head to the in-laws to discuss what you want to do or what you can handle. You don’t have to start planning months ahead, but maybe a few weeks before the holiday season, make a plan and set out boundaries so everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them.

●      Be Aware of Your Needs: You have to be aware of what you need and advocate for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for needing space or if you prefer to be around family when your partner doesn’t. Just be clear about what you need and make sure that your partner is receptive to you, and vice versa.

●      Set Travel Plans in Advance: We already mentioned planning, but there’s also something to be said for making or rethinking travel plans. You can have contingency plans or last-minute backup plans, but make sure that you’re both on the same page about what the expectation is well ahead of time. If the plans are made, it’s easier to follow through.

●      Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Mind: If you think that you can handle the family gathering during the pandemic, and then suddenly realize that you can’t, don’t feel like you can’t speak up. If your partner has the same realization, they should feel comfortable coming to you, too. The holidays are supposed to be enjoyed, whatever that means to you.

●      Make Separate Plans: There’s nothing wrong with taking a “divide and conquer” approach to your holiday plans. If you are trying to make the rounds or have visits that one or the other person doesn’t care for, consider splitting up. Make a priority for spending the most important moments together, and let the rest work however it works for the two of you.

The most important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to do the holidays. You have to do what works best for you, regardless of what that means. Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about things and it will be much easier to enjoy yourselves and avoid holiday burnout or needless arguments.

These days, it seems like the holidays are nothing but stress. It shouldn’t be that way, and it certainly doesn’t have to. If you take the time to be realistic and communicate with your partner, you should have no trouble having the best holiday. Don’t set your own expectations too high or demand too much of yourself or your partner. Find a way that works for both of you, and be willing to compromise. As long as you keep open communication, it should be easy to figure out what works.

How are you going to set your energy boundaries for the holidays?  We’d love to hear about it! Leave us a comment or reach out to us on Instagram or Facebook to share.