How to Effectively Communicate and Connect with Your Partner in the New Year

Communication is the foundation of every relationship-- from couples to familial relationships, friendships, and even professional interactions. A quick search online will show, however, that communication is also the leading cause of issues in a relationship. So, how do you make sure that you communicate effectively to avoid conflict and stay connected?

We’ve got the tips you need right here, and we’ll tell you that it starts with understanding your own communication style, as well as that of your partner. Once you know where you’re both at, you can figure out how to move forward together.

There are literally dozens of different “communication styles” out there, some of which are healthy and some of which couldn’t be more toxic if they tried. For starters, make sure that you identify toxic styles and that neither of you has those-- if you do, eliminate them first, then come back to the rest. Toxic communication includes:

●      Passive: If you just let people walk all over you, you’re going to develop tons of anger and resentment. Most likely, people don’t know that you feel this way in the first place, which will only serve to exacerbate the issue.

●      Aggressive: You also can’t be too forward, too assertive, or just downright mean. Arguing, fueling conflict, and being defensive are all examples of aggressive communication.

●      Passive-Aggressive: This is probably one of the most common toxic communication styles, and it’s infuriating for anyone on the receiving end. Passive-aggressive people will act on the surface as if everything is fine, but then say or do things insidiously or behind people’s backs. They will make subtle “digs” rather than approaching someone straight-on.

Healthy Communication Styles

There are also several healthy communication styles. If you want to connect with your partner, understand theirs, as well as how it meshes with yours so that you can both be better communicators. As a couple, the two most important styles to be aware of are direct and indirect communication.

These are pretty self-explanatory. Direct communicators say exactly what they think, need, feel, or want. Indirect people might struggle to ask for things or speak up, or they might do so in a round-about way. If you are aware that one of you struggles with the latter, you should work on helping each other connect more directly.

Hot and Cold

People who are “hot” communicators feel a lot of pressure to relieve tension right away, and will want to immediately engage and address issues that arise. Those with a more “cold” style will typically want to step back, think about the situation, and then take a pragmatic approach to the conversation.

Again, if you are aware of which styles you and your partner have, it will be easier for you to accommodate each other and work together to improve your communication overall. This, in turn, will create an even stronger connection on all levels.

It’s About Communication: The Full-Circle Solution

It seems a bit ironic that connecting with your partner and communicating effectively requires good communication in the first place. However, it’s really just that simple. There’s a topic that’s becoming quite popular that has long been a staple of healthy communication and a healthy mindset overall: mindfulness.

You and your partner must understand and be mindful of each other’s communication styles, help to improve or eradicate the toxic ones, and learn how to connect with each other based on how you each communicate. Relationships are work-- whether they’re romantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise. If you and your partner are truly committed to staying connected and communicating effectively, you’re already halfway there.

At Spouzal, we love love and want to support couples in navigating the ups and downs. Our network of highly qualified and vetted professionals are the best in the industry. Membership includes discounted referrals for: individual therapy, expanded couples therapy, family counseling, adolescent therapy, psychiatric therapy, anger management, and more. Join us today by visiting us at www.spouzal.com